Blue Dragon Stretches Its Claw

Today is the second day of the new year. When I look back on 2008, I see both accomplishment and disappointment in equal measure. I'm pleased with my accomplishments, small though they are: keeping my business afloat and even expanding it a little despite tough times. I even took on a subcontractor. I'll continue on that path in 2009. I already have some plans in the works.

But the disappointments . . . I didn't go anywhere. I didn't do anything just for fun. My most exciting road trips were to Duluth and Okoboji, always to visit family. No conventions, no concerts. Yes, I was working hard, and yes, I was strapped for cash, but I owe it to myself to get out more. Out of my head, out of my house, out of my town, out of my rut.

Another disappointment: I let ego get in my way a lot last year. I used it as an excuse to avoid tough situations. I let it prevent me from doing things I wanted to do. I let it get in the way of enjoying time with my family. So I need to work on getting out of my own way this year.


Which brings me to my point: Blue Dragon Stretches Its Claw. Why does the dragon stretch its claw? To investigate. To explore. To expand its reach. Since I have named my business, and therefore myself, Blue Dragon, this is what I must do: stretch myself, try some new things, and lighten the hell up.

This will be difficult. I've stayed on the safe path and stuck to things I'm good at for nearly 40 years. And I'm bored. So I'm going to try new things, and I'm going to fail at some of them. That will have to be OK, though. According to Chaucer, a man's reach should exceed his grasp, or what's a heaven for?

I've started my stretching. I asked for and received some art supplies for Christmas. I've never been much good at drawing or painting, but I'm going to try it so I can illustrate my blog.


Today I ordered a deep blue slipcover for my ugly beige couch. I realized over the holidays that I have inherited every couch I've ever owned but have never chosen one I truly like. Today I changed that. When that cover arrives, the couch will look like I want it to look.

Now I'm on my way to Home Depot to choose paint colors for the living room walls—not one but three: I want a sapphire, an emerald, and a ruby wall. Today I'll narrow my paint choices; when the couch cover arrives, I'll purchase those that compliment it best. By the end of January, I'll have a new living room. It's a start.

I haven't yet decided how to incorporate this stretching into my T'ai Chi practice, but I'm sure something will come to me. I may have to stretch to reach it, but it will be there.

Step Forward and Unite with the Sword

Step Forward and Unite with the Sword? Stepping forward I can do; uniting with the sword is not so easy. I mean, how do you unite with a sword? I can't truly merge with it, and I'm not a sword swallower. The best I can hope to do is to make it a useful part of me as I make this journey toward . . . if not complete enlightenment, a least diminished dimness.

The first thing that comes to mind when I think of uniting with a sword is the old notion of falling upon one's sword: opting for an honorable suicide rather than facing a worse fate. I don't think I need to die literally before I set out; to do so would prevent me from progressing further. But I do think a part of me needs to be skewered: my ego, the part that thinks I know things.

So I must step forward deliberately, fall upon my sword, and pierce my ego. A difficult enough thing to do knowingly, it's made more difficult by the fact that I'm holding the sword in my left, less coordinated, hand as I start. So even if I commit to performing this maneuver, my natural clumsiness will make it awkward. I will fail many times—maybe every time, as the ego is a slippery thing that does not want to be run through. Yet I

step

and

begin.

Preparation

This blog is a project to commemorate my 10th anniversary of serious study at Twin Cities T'ai Chi Ch'uan. Each post will be inspired by a posture in the T'ai Chi sword form.

Since the postures of the sword form represent points along a student's journey toward enlightenment, my hope is that my essays will do the same. While I don't expect to achieve Enlightenment through these writings, I do hope to enlighten myself somewhat about my practice.

Please feel free to click the Comments link on any post to add your thoughts. I would appreciate hearing from you.